Burdened...

I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones, or what, but I have recently been finding myself overwhemingly burdened for little Jacob.  I have been having dreams of trying to find him in Bulgaria, walking up in the mornings thinking about him, pleading with God to find him a family, then not being able to go back to sleep.  It pains me to think of him lying alone in an awful crib all day. 

Today I asked God to take the burden from me, but then retracted that prayer.  Should I be less burdened?  Should I continue my life happy and ignorant to the fact that this little one never even sees sunshine, or feels a loving embrace?  Is that what I want?  Selfishly, yes, sometimes, but I know it's not right.  It's ok to be burdened, to want something better for someone I have never met.  I know God care deeply for His children, that He is ANGRY when they are mistreated, and that those who reach out to help these children are greatly rewarded here on earth and in Heaven.

Here are two families and children who have recently given me hope (and actually more burden) for Jacob.  The first is a family who recently adopted a little girl with almost the same situation as Jacob; Almost 5, kept in a crib all day every day, fed only bottles, 14lbs, and she was heavily medicated to keep her sleeping and silent at all times with a medication that was toxic.  This family has had her home for about 6 weeks, and I can see the rapid change and growth in her:

In a matter of weeks, this little girl, so similar to Jacob in their inhumane treatment when from this:

To this:

I don't know if this little girl had ever smiled before, ever felt happiness before.  Read about this amazing, and current transformations here:  www.nogreaterjoymom.com

The other family adopted a little boy named Andrew from Bulgaria of all places who is blind, and kept in his crib his entire life for 5+ years.  His adoptive parents even saw some abuse towards him while visiting.  When they first got him, he was so weak, he couldn't even lift his head and ate from a bottle.  He is now walking.  Watch this video of their first night with him:  http://blessedbyachild.blogspot.com/2010/06/watch-this-video-of-andrew-first-nite.html

So, yes, these stories bless me.  They give me hope for Jacob and his potential.  But they also frighten me to know that there is so much of a chance that this potential could be lost.  That he will remain in that godawful crib for the rest of his, what will be, short life and never swing, smile, walk or be rocked to sleep. 

So now what?  I don't know.  I really don't.  Our art fundraiser got pushed back until August, the month before his 5th birthday.  Please pray for him, donate, or suggest to me a great idea that could help him.  Think about taking him into your home, or suggest it to some momma you know.